Broken

My arm is still broken.  Sadly I'm not, in fact, a wolverine, and will take time to heal.  But the doctor says I'm on track to be riding outside in a week, and racing shortly thereafter.  I'm stuck, in the meantime, on the trainer, whining about life.  Fortunately, the trainer seems to be the only place I do whine.  I am strangely and magically content.  I'm getting taken care of above and beyond anything I deserve.  And my attempts at independence are taken in stride, not ridiculed.  I'll probably escape without loosing too much fitness as well.

We took a distraction trip to NYC last week.  No rules, no agenda, and only toothbrushes were brought.  I ate awesome pastries and spent too much money on shoes.  But there were happy carefree moments that reminded me I'm loved.  I've never been happier to not have a plan.
I leave for CO in a week.  Can't believe it's actually here.  I'm nervous about the logistics, but still content that I'll be ok.
And beside, a cross country move wouldn't be exciting enough if I were healthy.          

Crashing into unsolitude

I've been on a bit of a technology hiatus recently.  Since leaving the office, I have vowed to spend as little time as possible in front of the computer.  Soon enough there will be plenty of computer time.  So I have made it a priority to enjoy sleeping, riding, and coffee shops.  As my technology time has decreased, my numbers on the bike have skyrocketed, and the pesky winter pounds come off.  I've found happiness and solace in place of the anxiety and chaos that was surrounding me.  I have been following my heart a lot the past month.  And it has made me faster, hungrier, and more ambitious.  As May unfolded, I was psyched to race my bike, over the moon about my research fellowship, and feeling very un-alone.  I've been pushed on the bike in ways I never have been (at least on a consistent basis), I have loved the reading I'm doing to get ready for my RA position, and generally just feel happy.
I could go on about the awesome training rides I've done, how great I feel when I get off the bike.  How the magic fit-master gave met a secret 50 watts on the climbs, but no one cares.

I was finally able to test my new found strength and excitement against a strong field this weekend.  The bike got some awesome TLC, I was rested and relaxed, and I was finally getting to race with my teammate Lindsay again.  The race started, fast, and I felt good.  Like the shit-yea-this-is-awesome good feeling.  Breaks went and I brought them back.  And still felt strong.  With about 8 to go I bridged to a move with a Kelly rider that I knew would stick.  I felt strong in the break.  Three of us were working hard and gaining time.  And then all good things come to an end and I was on the ground.  Broken-bone, race-ending on the ground.  Andy and Russ came running over and I yelled at both and possibly hit one telling them to get back to warming up and go race.  I fought the medics, but much to my chagrin, was taken to the ER.  (NOT AGAIN!!!)  And while I was screaming at techs for moving my wrist, breaking Pierre's fingers while the doctor fished around in my shoulder, and nearly passes out when they stuck an injection in the fracture site, an amazing thing happened.  I felt surrounded by people who cared about me.  Friends made me laugh, and my hand was constantly held.  I have been cared for and fawned over since it happened.  I know I'm still capable of doing things on my own and for myself.  But am now assured I don't have to.
My bike has been made trainer ready (ie no shinny white bar tape, sexy wheels or aggressive position), and I've been assured that even with nice weather I'll have company.  I have a wonderful support system of coaches, teammates, mechanics, PTs, and friends.  And a hand to squeeze the daylight out of when things start to hurt a little too much.  And fire in the belly for Aspen and Steamboat Springs           

In which nothing sucked and there were Dragons

So last week (still) didn't work.  And I (still) slept a lot.  And despite some seeming setbacks in life, I can honestly say that nothing sucked about it. 
Some highlights....

I took a roadtrip down south with Monika, raced a road race, and raced up a mountain.  I actually didn't die.  And Monika won said uphill race.  So, goodness abounded.  And we stayed in a cute little resort too.     I also got to follow Lindsay on her Speedweek adventure and awesome success.  I'm so proud and honored to be a part of a team with such amazing talent. 

I spent the week exploring new training grounds.  And I had someone to train with who got great pleasure out of kicking my ass up the worst training hill in history (complete with a cemetery in the middle of it) and yelling at me "STOP, THERE'S A COW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD".  Yes, a cow.  I am now going to start rating workouts on their cow content and how many times I contemplate killing my training partner if I can catch him. 

And then I went to Bennington.  Where I got to reconnect with Kacey and cram into a tiny motel room with 3 badass (and hot) women to complete the rainbow coalition of a room.  I also raced hard and won a nickname or two.  I'm starting to feel form coming on, and understand what people mean by racing into shape.  I know I'll be ready to start pillaging and crushing when the time comes.  But this weekend reminded me why I love racing bikes.  Why getting called the "pirate space princess" was awesome.  Why having random bike racing strangers feed me ice cream makes me laugh, and why the fact that women are getting stronger and racing more aggressively makes me happy. 

Check out Kacey's blog if you're looking for the metrics of the weekend.  She nailed it.