The past few years I have used bike racing as an escape from my life. Bad day at the office? Intervals were a cure. Unappreciated at work? My teammates needed me for a leadout. Frustrated with a feeling of spinning my wheels and going nowhere? Well there's always a race this weekend.
I've met incredible people racing my bike. My best friends, the love of my life, kindred spirits and sisters from another mother. The bike has given me an instant community wherever I've moved. It has saved my life in my darkest times. I love my bike, everything it represents.
However as the 2013 season approaches, I feel much different than in the past few years. Last year, I wanted nothing more than for race season to start because I needed something to validate me. "Dear god get me out of the office and onto my bike" was all I could think. And while I love my bike, and I've spent a solid winter training, as I approach this season, it is much different.
First, I love my research. I have a thesis topic that I want to dive into. I am foregoing the first race of the Colorado calendar so I can spend my weekend crafting my research proposal.
Second, I have found a home and a community in academia. I have a director of the research center who was excited about my research as I was. In the past two weeks I have been interviewed by GQ, The New York Times, and the Korbel School's own media outlets about my work, past military life, and current research. A year ago I dreamed of the covershot on velonews... today I geek out about op/eds being posted on political violence blogs and The Monkey Cage. Last year I wanted the letters p-r-o affiliated with my name. Today I want the letters p-h-d.
Bicycle, I will always love you. And I will treat every race with the respect it deserves and work my hardest to win. But academia, you are my new home. I can only hope that the past decade has prepared me for you.
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